Your link to Northwest Indiana. tm
Your link to Northwest Indiana. tm |
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Power Shopping Thomas hasn’t seen the inside of a shopping mall for the past month! Why? Thomas has been in training…for the 2006 Winter Olympics! Yes, Thomas has been developing strength and endurance and sharpening his brain by lifting weights, walking the treadmill, doing aerobics, and studying psychology the past month in preparation for his goal of winning a gold medal in Torino, Italy for…Winter Power Shopping! What’s that? Power Shopping isn’t on the competition list… AGAIN? How many times do I have to contact the International Olympic Committee? How many of my fellow Power Shoppers have to keep calling and writing letters to the board of directors? It is an “anti-Thomas” conspiracy, I tell you! Thomas is prepared to enter 4 ‘Power Shopping’ races. Want to know what they are? Well, I am going to tell you anyway. Competition 1: Getting to the checkout lane first. Eight athletes try to see who can get to the checkout lane first. For this, one must perfect ‘the body-block’. My personal trainer had me working on upper body exercises so that I can ‘punch’ my way through a line AND leg exercises, so that I can ‘trip’ my opponent. This competition is not for the squeamish…side effects of cuts and bruises may occur! Competition 2: The Shortest Route Between Stores. Eight athletes are given a list of 6 stores located across Italy. The athlete, who spends the least amount of total travel time to reach get to each store, wins this competition. Think Tour De France and you will have the idea. This competition requires ‘mental training’. Hey now…I know what you are thinking. Yes, Thomas IS mental! Anyway, my ‘mental training’ consisted of map reading and mathematics. You know the famous saying; “the shortest distance between two points is a straight line”. It works for the routing of stores also. Competition 3: The Quick Wardrobe Change. Eight athletes are given 4 complete sets of clothing (including socks and underwear in some cases). The race involves putting on one set of clothing, being photographed with that clothing, then change into the next set of clothing and so forth. The danger is that the ‘competition’ may sabotage your pile of clothing by replacing your size with something smaller. Those sneaky Chinese thinking Thomas would accept the “it shrank in the dryer” comment. And, rumor has it that the Russians are notorious in placing ‘women’s garments’ into the pile of an ‘UN-suspecting’ male’s wardrobe. Take this you Commies…Thomas will squeeze his ‘tushy’ into silk panties if that is what it takes to win! Anyway, this competition requires major dexterity because one must learn how to change dress shirts without unbuttoning them (save time by slipping it over your head), change a tie without untying or choking yourself, change slacks and underwear (the secret is shucking both at the same time…so what if the judge sees you naked…the perverts), and changing shoes (OK, the loafers are easy, but changing shoes that lace…that is a real challenge). OH, practice your breathing exercises too. You will hear a lot of ‘grunting and groaning’ going on in those dressing rooms. Competition 4: Money, Money, Money. Back to ‘mental training’! This competition is probably the most challenging for it requires knowledge of money, personal checks, credit cards, traveler’s cheques, ATM’s (automatic teller machines), and foreign exchange. Here is how it goes…the athlete is shown a piece of merchandise. The price tag will be in a foreign currency. The athlete must calculate the price into USA currency. This requires vast knowledge of a foreign country’s currency name and the exchange rate. (The last time I read, one USA dollar was equal to 119.15 Japanese Yen, .57 British Pounds, .83 Euro’s, and 3.19 Polish Zlotys). THEN, the athlete has to determine the best way of completing the transaction…cash, check, or charge. Thomas has a fourth way…stealing, but I ‘think’ that may be against the IOC rules. There you have it…4 ‘Power Shopping Olympic Challenges’! Now, if the IOC would only return my phone calls (they must have ‘Caller ID’). I don’t know if Thomas can train for another 4 years until the IOC gets their act together. I know…I will retire from competition and start helping other ‘Power Shoppers’ train for their Olympic future. Just call me COACH THOMAS! And now… DON’T DOUBT THOMAS! THINK VALENTINE’S DAY GIFTS! What is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift? Forget the chocolates and those stupid T-shirts, the stuffed animals, and the slinky lingerie. A true Power Shopper ALWAYS goes for the jewelry. Kohl’s, Sears, Meijers, Value City, and JC Penney [all nationwide] have 20%-75% off sales on their jewelry. One of the best deals was at JC Penney…for $99 you have a choice of a 1 ct.t.w. diamond ring, earrings, or bracelet set in 10K yellow gold. THINK LUGGAGE! It is that time of year…planning your spring break and summer vacation! Traveling requires luggage and I found a deal on luggage at Value City Department Stores [nationwide]. They have a 3-pc set, by Leisure, for $39.99. The set includes a 20-inch and 25-inch expandable upright and a 16-inch tote. Choose from a variety of colors, including red, green, blue, aqua, and brown. THINK COMPUTER AND PRINTER! Here is a great deal…a notebook computer AND printer for $579.99! Office Depot [nationwide] is offering a Compaq Presario notebook for $829.99 minus a $150 mail-in rebate. With it, you get a Free HP Deskjet 3915 color inkjet printer after a $70 and a $30 rebate. The notebook comes with 512MB of memory, a 40GB hard drive, it plays DVD’s/CD’s and burns CD’s and comes with Windows XP Home with service pack 2. Think graduation presents…! THINK PICTURE FRAMES! Michaels The Arts and Crafts Store is having a ½ price sale on a variety of picture frames. All of their tabletop frames, by Weston, are 50% off and the 11” x 1” wall frames, by Home Images, is 50% off. There is also a coupon, in most newspapers, for 50% off custom framing. THINK SPRING! Yes, even though that pesky groundhog saw its shadow, I think spring is coming early. I had my first Robin sighting yesterday! With spring comes “spring clean up”. Menards [nationwide] and Lowe’s [nationwide] have a variety of items on sale to spruce up your home and get it ready for spring and summer. Menards has laminate flooring, by DiamonPlate, on sale at $1.99 a square foot. Hickory hardwood flooring is $3.99 a square foot. Lowe’s has the American Tradition Interior paint for $23.98 a gallon (and it comes with a Lifetime warranty). Consider remodeling your bathroom with a new vanity and fixtures, also on sale. Now, back to my Olympic training. Where did I put my 14K gold and diamond coaches whistle? Thomas |
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